In our culture, women have been taught that being assertive and going after what they want is generally a good thing. But, is it a good thing when it comes to your love life?
While men appreciate an intelligent and successful woman, they typically don’t feel very appreciative about being managed in a relationship.
Do Be Assertive At Work
You won’t get very far in your career if you don’t assert yourself. In order to be successful at work or in
business, you have to know what you want, how to get it, and how to get things done.Being assertive at work is not only a good thing, it’s necessary.
Unfortunately, it’s hard for many women to
turn that driven, masculine, “get-it-done” energy off at the end of the day. They think that what works at
work will work in their love lives, too. But most men are compelled and magnetized by your soft feminine qualities,
not your masculine, assertive ones.
Do Tell Him What You Want Or Don’t Want
One way assertiveness is attractive to a man is when you can clearly communicate what you want, or don’t want,
without making him wrong and without criticism. Express your desires with words like, “I want that.” or “I don’t want that.”You don’t like his choice of restaurant? Tell him, “I don’t want to eat there tonight. I don’t like
their food.” Not, “Why do you always pick that horrible place?” Is he telling you something that’s making you angry or annoyed? Tell him, “I don’t want to talk about
this. It doesn’t feel good to me.” Not, “Why are you such a jerk?”
Don’t Chase Him
It’s frustrating to sit back and let a man make all the plans, or watch him drift away when you’re so attracted to him. You know you’re not supposed to chase after a man because it’s simply a turn off for him, but it’s so hard not to. In this new, modern era, women are just confused.
You may think you’re being friendly by texting him throughout the day. You think you’re making it easy for him by always making the plans, getting the tickets, or offering to drive. To him, it doesn’t feel friendly or convenient. It just feels like you’re chasing him, and he feels out of control – and therefore, not very romantic.
Don’t Manage The Relationship
Asking a man how he feels and “Where are things going?” seems like the natural thing to do. You think you’re being direct and honest and showing him that you’re interested in him. But it smacks of neediness and desperation to a man. As long as you’re running the show, he may follow, but he won’t feel inspired. And you will never feel adored.Being assertive with a man – even though it may seem friendly and nice and “modern” – is a quality that never has, and never will, work to naturally attract a man.
In my eBook, I share insights and the TRUTH about what men really want out of love, and how it’s totally different from what we think they want. I show you how to use these facts about men to actually do less in your relationship and yet get more love, more affection, more romance, and therefore feel more content with your man.
Article by ; Rori Raye.
