When a man decides he doesn’t want a relationship with you, are you inclined to say he “wasn’t worth your time” and that you “deserve something better?”
That may be true. And telling yourself something like that can certainly make you feel better.
But what if the reason a man isn’t feeling it for you has to do with your OWN inability to understand what he needs to feel in love?
Connecting With A Man: What Doesn’t Work
I see this happen all the time in women when a man doesn’t act or respond the way they want him to. Things seem to run hot and cold – sometimes he calls, sometimes he backs off.Have you ever been so attracted to a man, that the more you spent time being with and thinking about him, the more attached you felt, and therefore the more INSECURE you became?
If this has happened to you, then you know that the insecurity you feel becomes a downward spiral. The more insecure you feel, the more afraid you are of “screwing things up” or “scaring him off.” He senses your fear, and backs away even further…
“If a man isn’t attracted to a woman, all of her attempts to share a connection, convince him to like her, and to feel and share love will backfire.”
It’s a difficult place to be. A woman will drive herself crazy trying to figure out what he’s thinking, and when she can’t take it anymore, she decides to tell him how she’s feeling… that she’s falling for him, or that she doesn’t understand why he isn’t feeling the same way.
There can be drama, tears, and pleas. That’s usually the beginning of the end. The man might be flattered at first by her proclamations and even appear to respond the way she wants him to, but chances are he will back off – often for good.
Why He Runs
I’m going to tell you something you probably already know in your gut.
If a man isn’t attracted to a woman, all of her attempts to share a connection, convince him to like her, and to feel and share love will backfire.
In other words, they not only don’t work – they make things worse. They trigger an INTENSE discomfort in him that makes him want to run.
Even though a woman might have nothing but the most loving and positive emotional intentions in the long run, these actually cause the woman feeling them to do things that make the man pull away… and sometimes for good.
Connection Starts With Your Mindset
To really connect with a man, you need to trigger an emotional attraction in him. And this starts with the beliefs you carry with you. Women who are successful in love generally hold these “mindsets:”
- I don’t let a man determine what I want/will have in my love life.
- I’d move on and leave a man before I’d let him ruin my life.
- I wouldn’t keep a man from doing the things he enjoys.
And that’s just for starters. Having these mindsets “fire up” a man so he’ll want to get to know you on a deeply connected level.
